U guys know I've been pretty ... not myself these few days... hehe I assure U this will soon past... Because I have decided in my mind to let that person go...

Doesn't matter how much I think about that person...

Doesn't matter how much I feel about that person...

It is time to let go... :)

And be myself...

And soar in the sky... Free as a bird... as an eagle...

Father Lord I pray for you to guide me, for your plans to prevail in my life... In my life your will be done... Thank you father for your guidance... Thank you father for pulling me through... Amen...

Thank you for sharing my burdens with me... Listening to me go on and on... Listening to my uncertainties... Thank you for NOT laughing at me... Thank you for encouraging me on... Girls... I really appreciate you... even though I don't say it, because I find it so hard to say... Adz... thank you for being so frank with me... it really makes me feel so much better... MUacks...

I want to be faithful... really really... But I realised I'm still a coward...... So many things that happen... I can only be subtle... Realised that sometimes families can really teach the wrong things... eg... How can a 12 yr old kid comment that their uncle is a hypocrite????

I am so disappointed in my extended family... Don't get me wrong... I love my family... BUT... when it comes to teaching, the kids model the parents too much... when your dad says "ur uncle really loves you..." the kid says in a mocking manner "yeah jesus loves you"... To mock christianity, to mock the fact that they think that christians are hypocrites...

I am amazed...

And disappointed at the same time...

Come to think about it... I'm really blessed... I'm watching this HK drama called War and Beauty... gosh it is sooooo good I end up watching one episode after another... on and on... hard to press the stop button... because it is sooooo good :) and I realised I am sooooo blessed...

Not to be born in the Qing Dynasty... Imagine, once U are born your life purpose has been set for you... U are destined to marry the king and serve him forever... Once ladies go into the palace... they don't come out... NOR step out at all... That's why they get so bored and resort to backstabbing I reckon... How sad is that???? Very very very... I was calculating with my dad today...

There are 3000+ ladies in the palace... and given that the king/emperor has sex (of course I said sleep with when I was talking to my dad) 1 lady each day... imagine rotating till ur turn 10 yrs later???!!!!! Oh gosh... imagine 10 yrs... um... I think I won't be able to stand it... How on earth were the ladies able to stand it?!?!?!?! And this never happens... The king usually only spends time with the ladies whom he loves... and guess what??? Maybe U only get to sleep with the king once in your entire life...

And this is how their future is set... How it is ruined...

I am a lucky girl to be born in the 20th century...

Thank God...