Headache...

I dunno why I'm so tired even tho I've slept so much recently... Still tired...

Feeling so detached... from everything... dunno why too...

Seems like everyone's having such a fun holiday... really thank God my cell leader understands what I'm going thru... Like really thank God my cell leader's a pharmacy student too (and not the genious kind who looks at the lecture notes once and remembers everything)... and she understands... I really thank God for such an understanding cell leader... really love her to bits... One day I was like super tired and stuff... and really scared... and I sent her an mms... (remember I've got free mms?) and what I got back... was really really encouraging...

THANK U YEE MEI I LOVE U HEAPSSSSS

Hmmm... and now what??? Inez, David, Kian Huat, Yee Hui, Wansee and Vely are coming over to my place for dinner tonight... am making a trifle for them... hope it tastes oK hey... I'm never really good at cooking... Had a catch up session with my discipler yesterday... and just talked about family and stuff... really learnt a lot from her...

THANK U KAREN I LOVE U HEAPPSSSSSSSS TOO.... :)

Gosh I'm like soooo tired now la.... Oh well I know God will provide and He WILL sustain...

Love ya too God...!!!!!

I need lip balm now... my lips are sooooo dry...

I was playing this thing called myheritage.com... it tells U which celebrity U look like... Played with a few photos and this person came up a lot... her name's Rachel Bilson... hehehe... dun even know who she is... realised I dun really look chinese... must be the philipino maid thing... but anyway ppl say I look a mix bet my eldest sis and second sis...

am reading this book called even greater 12 real-life stories that inspire you to do great things for god... by Reinhard Bonnke... really really good book hey... even the introduction catches me, and I don't... I REPEAT DON'T normally read introductions. Let me show U one paragraph.

"The truth is that while you and I may be human beings, as children of God we are much more than that. We are agents of omnipotence. This means that unlimited power is at our fingertips. It also means that there are no great men working in God's kingdom. Rather, there is a great God at work in human beings who have childlike faith. You have not yet seen what God wants to do through you."

how powerful... how great... agents of omnipotence... really the only thing I can say is... "wow"

These few days, I've been praying that God give me the urgency and help me want to go out to spread the gospel to ppl around me...

I realised I've always had the heart for ppl... Like helping ppl, encouraging ppl etc... Just that I'm like as blur as can be... always kena bluffed by ppl... hahaha... but anyway I really really love ppl in general...

So what happened was the thursday before easter performance, we were like singing the songs... and then I just could feel God putting Salvation in our presence... in Church... everywhere... I just cried... while I was singing... and Usha was like "Kaiting, why U cry???" and I couldn't answer... That feeling couldn't be put into words...

Then on Easter itself, I was soooo touched to see so many ppl... even the UWA service was packed... which was great. We had few salvations, few rededications... and I was just praying for these ppl... WEnt down during altar call to pray and I just cried while praying... Never ever felt such a burden waiting to be released... Really felt the happiness when I was praying... and just cried and cried...

Then went for Easter camp... hehehe it was awesome hey... Geoff Woodward, the 1st night... I can't really say I understood him... actually I didn't understand him at all... hehehe but it was good seeing ppl just respond... then the next day, Pastor Karmeng talked about Reinhard Bonkke... and I just cried whenI saw the video on Reinhard Bonkke with those ppl... how many ppl came to christ... Save 1 more for Jesus... right now that's really my goal... like 5 ppl first... I'm sure I can do it... anyway, then Ps Chong and Goldie talked about BGR... and I made a commitment to God, I'll let HIM lead my relationships from now onward... so even if I meet a guy who fulfils my list, God will lead... I really dunno how to... but all I can do is pray. Not going to fall for silly little gestures, I want to stand for God... Then at night Bro Sudha Niles preached. He talked about how God still loves U even when U think He doesn't. It didn't really speak that much to me... But it spoke million words to ppl.... Lots of ppl responded, cried... went to the front and just knelt down in front of God... saying "GOD I live for you, give my burdens and sorrows to you" and I just cried again while praying for this girl... cuz she cried while I was praying... and I just cried... and cried... really touched by all these ppl... Then that night was this silly talk show la... and then Marcus was like chairing it... then guess what??? Gen was the co-chair alongside marcus and alphonsus... and he saboed me... man... super sabo lo... just as much as how I saboed shen xian to go out... and anyway Gen was like " Kaiting is one of the most eligible girls in ZPH" and like something along that lines la... and like they asked me what was my shopping list for guys... and they paired me up with Zhengyi... GOSH!~!!!!!! Zhengyi!!!! That was like super ages ago la... maybe I used to have this teeny crush on him... but that is like eons ago... hahaha super funny man these ppl... Anyway... yeP...

The next day was testimony sharing day... and then I just went up la... I realised I'm so much more confident sharing stuff(s) in front of many ppl nowadays... Thank God for bringing this fear of ppl away from me... I really didn't use to make very good eye-contact, stammer a lil n stuff... but not that day... It was God it really wasn't me... anyway, I just thanked my group members for supporting me la... I wasn't very good at bringing excitement to the group... So much so that I almost cried one day... and then later Lawrence asked "are U very discouraged?" and I was like "yes" but then it's all GOOD... hehehe cuz I've learnt really that being a leader is not easy stuff(s)... Thanks million to Lawrence, Celia, Reena, Julie, Risako, these few who have stuck by me and helped me along all the time... esp. Risako, this girl who's only 16... she's from Japan... and she told me "I think U're a very good leader" that really helped a lot... She's like so sweet... And like Celia and Lawrence... they go "Don't worry U're doing fine" gosh... I feel so loved and so touched by these wonderful bunch of ppl... I love U guys... :P

Anyway... sorry I've been MIA for ages... haven't had the chance to blog... anyway, I love U guys still all the same, or even more... :) cuz U guys are wonderful to me... I hope U realise!!!!

Love love love ya heaps!!!