Was talking to Lynn yesterday, and she was telling me how David was telling someone "You cao4 cao3 do this"

And she was like "wahhhhhh.... super long never hear this"

haha... So I decided to go online to check for "you know you are singaporean when..."

And they came up with this list for angmohs... which said "You know you've been in Singapore too long when..."

1. You know why this list needs the following disclaimer: "This list is intended only as an amusing, light-hearted, and exaggerated look at life in Singapore and is not meant to be taken seriously. There is no intention on the part of the authors of this list to make any untrue, misleading, or defamatory statements concerning any person in particular, nor to make any statement intended to cause offense. If any such offense has been caused, the author apologizes and retracts the offending statement. In any event, the author's NOT WORTH SUING, so don't trouble yourself."
2. You've lost your sense of irony, humor, sarcasm, and cynicism.
3. You don't know what's lame and what isn't anymore.
4. You get used to being called "Ang Moh", "Geyloh", "Bulek", "Mat Saleh", or "Orang Putih".
5. You think there's nothing wrong with putting chili sauce on everything you eat.
6. You wait for instructions from people in authority before doing anything. Always.
7. You accept the fact that you have to queue to get a ticket for the next queue
8. You join queues without knowing or caring what the queue is for.
9. You know what "queue" means!!
10. You can type an SMS on your phone as quickly as you would if you had a regular keyboard.
11. Your idea of a good night out consists of having dinner at a hawker centre, drinking beer, and then going to another hawker centre and eating again.
12. You've lost your ability to criticize people in higher positions than you, even if they're wrong.
13. You would buy a $20 product you don't need if it's on sale for $10 just to save the money.
14. You forget to say the last consonant in words like "faCT", "aTE", etc.
15. You think it's okay to have only one meaningful choice on a ballot.
16. Every task you take on and every group you form is incomplete without a mission statement and a cheesy slogan.
17. "Crossing the country" means taking the MRT to the end of the line.
18. You don't just know what "kiasu" means, you have become it!
19. You think that corn and beans are dessert foods.
20. You would cross the entire country all day to find the places that make the perfect fried noodles, or roti prata, or ice kacang,or chili crab. And none of these places would be close to each other.
21. You have a high tolerance for nagging.
22. Most or all of these acronyms make sense to you: NUS; NTU; ERP; SDU; PAP; MRT; LKY; GCT; PRC; TIBS; SBS; SMS; JB; JBJ; AMK; AYE; PIE; ECP; CTE; BKE; ISD; ISA; 5 C's; CPF; CHIJMES; SPG; CWO; LTA; URA; MOM; SIR; COE; EP; IRAS; EDB; CBD.
23. You use too many acronyms when you talk, or you create new ones. (This is Marcus)
24. You think that nothing makes a girl or guy more attractive than to dress exactly like hundreds of thousands of other girls and guys who all dress exactly like girls and guys in malls.
25. You think that $100,000 is a reasonable price for a Toyota Corolla and $1,000,000 is a bloody cheap for a bungalow, but $5 for a plate of fried noodles is a barbarous outrage.
26. You believe that not being able to get decent roti prata outside Singapore is enough to keep the best and the brightest people from leaving.
27. You see nothing wrong with forming committees of select elite people to deliberate and study ways to stimulate creativity and spontaneity.
28. You justify every argument with the phrase "in order for us to be competitive in the 21st century".
29. You think everything should be "topped up".
30. You have a naive belief that the war against ants will somehow be won.
31. You don't think any dish of Western food is complete without baked beans.
32. You see nothing unusual about an organization of trade unions spending more time owning and operating supermarkets, drugstores,amusement parks, nightclubs, and financial services outlets than planning the next strike.
33. You believe that a lack of land is enough justification for the government to do what it wants.
34. You wear winter clothes indoors and summer clothes outdoors.
35. Durian and belachan no longer stink to you.
36. You like to have fun, but not too much fun, since you need to correctly gauge the amount of fun necessary to achieve the optimal result. Any more fun that would bring shame to your family and your country.
37. Seven French fries with lunch are more than enough for you.
38. You forgot what a city organized around a grid looks like.
39. In a country where people use smart cards for public transit, you have no problem with construction workers riding in the open backs of pickup trucks.
40. You think paying $50 for a bottle of booze that costs $15 at home is a bargain.
41. You're not confused by a street naming system that locates streets like Clementi Road, Clementi Street, Clementi Crescent,Clementi Lane, Clementi Drive, Clementi Way, and Clementi Avenues 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, and 7 all within Walking distance of each other.
42. You think that skinny girls and guys are the most attractive of all. (How did they get so skinny in the first place?? Do you know how much oil is in nasi lemak, char kuay teow, duck rice, and your average curry.)
43. You get irritated if you don't see a sign telling you how long your wait's going to be for a bus, a train, or the expressway to take you where you want to go.
44. You're certain that Holland Village is for hippie bohemian artist types and not overpaid yuppies.
45. When you cross the border into Malaysia, you automatically and deeply fear for your life and your wallet. Especially your wallet!!
46. You think that no vegetable should ever be eaten raw for any reason. Except for cucumbers.
47. No matter what you're doing at the moment, you'd rather be shopping.
48. No matter how miserable you may be here, you thank God you're not in Indonesia.
49. You're impressed by high-rise apartment buildings with actual lobbies instead of bare exposed pillars on the ground floor.
50. You don't have a problem with four different direct payment systems spread out over seven different cards in your wallet, and none of them will work overseas.
51. You forgot what chewing gum tastes like.
52. You say "hand phone", not "mobile" And you think there's no such thing as a hand phone that's too thin.
53. You're not bothered by the fact that government cares whether you know how to use a toilet or urinal correctly. (People squatting on toilet bowls?)
54. You're sure that the best way to change social behavior is through consistent and comprehensive government-sponsored campaigns that permeate as many aspects of daily life as possible. And when they don't work, you never speak of them again.
55. You think chicken floss, corn, mayonnaise, and tandoori spices are proper pizza toppings.
56. You agree that what the government thinks of your personal habits and lifestyle should determine whether you get a condo and how much you pay for it.
57. You've become a fan of either Arsenal, Man. U., or Liverpool when you barely knew what soccer was before you came to Singapore. And you don't care that none of these teams are Singaporean!
58. You think a bus is incomplete without a TV.
59. You accept that expressways here are cleaner than toilets rather than the other way around.
60. Walking in a straight line to avoid people in the street becomes increasingly difficult, and you don't care if you do walk into them.
61. You develop an uncontrollable desire to stop dead and plan your day at the end of an escalator.
62. You think saving fuel is achieved by getting to 5th gear in the quickest possible time and then tapping you foot on and off the accelerator.
63. Contrary to popular understanding, the lane markings on the road are actually to line the mercedes star up on, not drive between.
64. You drive across the island and spend half an hour idling in a queue just to save 10% on the most expensive fuel because that is all the "discount" petrol stations offer.
65. You watch Tamil soap operas on Central, even though you can't understand a word they're saying, because despite the fact there are 30 channels available to you, there is nothing else worth watching.
66. If the temperature varies by a degree either way you complain that is either too cold to swim or too hot Lah!
67. You add lah to the end of every sentence.
68. You think having a extra ferry terminal for "domestic departures" just for the 3 minute ride from WTC to Sentosa is ok
69. You think by crossing the bridge to Johore Bahru your are traveling overseas and you will get a lot international experience
70. You think " wheel of fortune" and " who wants to be a millionaire" was invented by singapore and no one ever has seen it before
71. You really believe that IKEA is high quality and top design furniture and not some cheap plastic crap
72. You are absolutely sure the only and most important thing to look at when you buy a second hand car is the number plate ... if it is a nice number, the car will be fine.
73. You start to understand why people buy a 250 horsepower , 4 liter, 4 wheel-drive cars with cruise control and traction control on an island with a speed limit of 80 km/h , 100 km of highways and no snow.
74. You think a 163 meters hill actually is a respectable mountain.
75. You take 40 sick days a year and call in sick if you even cough once in the morning. and if you got a cold , you refuse to blow your nose or use a handkerchief ... you just hop on the MRT and suck it up again and again very loudly
76. If you want a taxi, go and stand 20 feet up the road from someone who's been waiting for 10 minutes. Ignore filthy looks from that person.
77. All disputes end win-win
78. Critics mean "too hot today, lah"
79. Walking distance is 10 meters
80. It's perfectly ok to use your hand phone in cinemas
81. You know how much your friends are paying for rent, how much their car costs, what the make of their watch is and how much it cost.
82. When you call a tradesman and he says he'll be there at 2pm on Monday and shows up at 9.45 on Tuesday you are not surprised - or even annoyed!
83. When you are forced to carry your stroller up and down stairs on Orchard Rd as their are no ramps no one other than the odd expat EVER offers to help you - but dozens of people feel free to stop and touch your baby and say 'how cute'.
84. You find yourself calling the elderly cleaners at the condo 'uncle'
85. You go to Burger King on Orchard Rd at lunchtime and there is only 1 person serving and 10 people wiping tables/stacking lids and this is OK.
86. You spend the day shopping and every shop assistant you come across is rude to you - and this does not give you a complex.
87. The girl at the Lancome makeup counter tries to sell you a 'whitening' cleanser and you don't think she's strange - even though you are so pale you can see the veins in your arms.
88. When riding any two-wheeled vehicle, you wear your jacket with the zipper facing backwards.
89. In bars, you consider it perfectly normal to wait 15 minutes for your change after ordering a drink. You spend S$200/night on alcohol alone without batting an eyelash.
90. You consider it perfectly acceptable for people to take mobile phone calls in the middle of meetings, as long as they politely face away from the table while they talk.
91. Orchard Towers holds no mysteries for you anymore. You are well acquainted with the price differences between "short time" and "long time". You know enough Thai and Tagalog to impress. You can spot the girly boys from across the room, and avoid them.
92. You find it acceptable that the only outcome of a two hour meeting is the date of the next meeting.
93. You don't get annoyed when you're not given a napkin with your chili pepper crab or you now carry around little packs of nose tissue when you go out for lunch.
94. You go to the gym and (a) sit on the equipment talking or (b) hang out by the pool.
95. You serve warm water to guests even if their sweating profusely.
96. You've stopped waiting for people to exit an elevator, the train, etc. before pushing your way in.
97. You're convinced all expats are nuts.
98. You think it's normal to get 5 copies of each brochure/folder that is put into your mail box.
99. You're upset when you have to pay a bill and realize that they don't give you a chance for a LUCKY DRAW !
100. If you think an interest rates below 1% is high.
101. You know exactly where to stand when you wait for the MRT train so that when the train comes, the door will open right in front of you.
102. You start driving in the middle of two lanes
103. You run in front of someone coming out of a train and then stop immediately as the escalator starts.
104. You need a trial period to keep left on the escalators.
105. You didn't know your $200,000 car came with an indicator. You assumed this was an optional extra.
106. You stop turning around in the cinema hall, wondering why on earth no one else is roaring with laughter.
107. You actually start understanding what people on the other end of the line are saying & you stop saying 'excuse me' & prefer 'wha lah ?'
108. Comfort cablink's operator no longer irritates you when she asks 'nid taxi now?'
109. you no longer feel real smart because you know you have to wait for the taxi number when calling a cab.
110. It No longer amazes you when you are asked by a young girl outside the cinema box office to buy her 4 tickets off her for 'Peter Pan' at a dollar less per ticket, because she really needed the tickets only so that she could get the Free Note Book that came with them.(which probably only cost S$1.25)
111. You've started saying "Hello? Hello?" when the person on the other end of the phone pauses for more than 2 seconds.
112. You are no longer irritated when the phone rings and the person on the other end - after a series of hellos - asks "who is this?" and becomes indignant when you ask the same question back.
113. You are no longer amazed that everyone in the office will punctually leave at 12 noon for lunch and under no circumstances will they miss this start time for munching
114. When people keep asking you "have you eaten?" you actualy do not say "yes thanks, had a great salad and a beer"
115. You stop explaining nicely to taxi drivers etc that in your home country people actually work. You just snap their heads off and tell them to get a life!
116. You become numb to the fact that all and sundry believes that all caucasians are actually filthy rich - and don't you ever forget it!!
117. Paying under $2500 a month for a condo the size of a dog house with mouldy walls, close to a hawker stand where spitting is an art form, with a swimming pool just at the right temparature to breed foot and mouth desease means that you have secured a bloody bargain !!
118. Signing a two year lease which includes a diplomatic clause shows your utter brillance at hard-arsed negotiations
119. It takes four hours to make a suite and five days to get it dry cleaned
120. You actually know that big brother (and sister) are monitoring everything you do, and that is quite okay
121. You stop cracking jokes about other cultures etc as you now find them politically insensitive.
122. You actually are concerned that your new job does not have the title of "executive to the executive vice president to the vice president of the president"
123. You start to care what others think about your social life, dress sense, humour, appearance an income!!!
124. You (particularly if you are an Aussie) throw a barbie, and think it is perfectly normal to throw a satay on the hot coals because to buy a decent snag and a piece of steak would require you to mortgage your house.
125. Even snails overtake you when walking
126. The taxi driver asks you for the way, even if you have just arrived at the airport.
127. You honestly believe cars do not come fitted with indicators.
128. You see red traffic lights as an opportunity to pick your nose.
129. You like condos with air wells so you can see and hear what everyone else is doing.
130. You lie and tell taxi drivers you earn $50,000 a month because they ask.
131. You wear sunglasses after dark because everyone else is.
132. You feel out of place because you have 20/20 vision.
133. You make a real mess at McDonalds and don't see why you should clear up.
134. You put your bag on a table before going up to order.
135. You've realised sentences just don't end in lah but whaaat and may.
136. Under one Roof is a really funny TV show!!!
137. If It's going to be delivered at 4, you know you'll still be waiting at 6.
138. When ordering anything saying "give me" helps.
139. When driving on the highway you head straight for the fast lane and stick to it like glue.
140. You realise any open anonymous vote will require your name and IC number to be on the ballot.
141. We in the West have no clue as to what carrot cake is.
142. You should buy the most expensive house you can afford so you cannot afford to furnish it.
143. You should constantly check to see if your car is the oldest in the condo.
144. After arriving into Singapore off a 14 hour flight your first thoughts are of mee rebus and bee hoon.
145. The Australian meat and vegetables here are far better that those found in Australia.
146. You don't trim any hair that grows out of moles now.
147. You think Gurmit Singh is the funniest man on earth.
148. You will not wear anything that does not have a large logo on it.
149. You will make your kids get up at 5 am, go to school all morning, then have extra tuition all afternoon.
150. You will not walk your dog. You will keep it in the apartment/backyard from the moment you bring it home from the pet shop till it dies. You will proudly tell everyone how much it cost.
151. When visiting a foreign country, make sure to pack lots of instant cup noodles in your bag - you can never be sure if you will get decent food to eat.
152. You know Dr. Chee is not working in a hospital.
153. Going to the world's largest BBQ and instead of buying a raw steak to put on the pit you buy Mee Goreng or Nasi Padang.
154. You think Americans are too materialistic compared to Singaporeans.
155. When someone asks you to do something, you answer with "Can, Can"
156. You can actually find your car in the Carpark at Suntec City (You know what a Carpark is!)
157. You take taxis on weekends, even though you have a car, because you now know that you can drive any where you like...you just can't stop.
158. You are beginning to think that you might really be fat.
159. When buying chickens at Cold Storage, the attached head and feet don't bother you anymore.
160. You nap on your desk at lunch.
161. You use an umbrella in the sun.
162. You know what they do with all that whitening cream.
163. When there is a "New Episode" on television, you believe that it really is new.
164. You're starting to think that maybe martial arts movies really aren't so bad after all.
165. When sitting in a movie theater that is virtually empty, you wouldn't dream of moving to a seat away from the crowd of 10 people surrounding you - elbow to elbow.
166. You realise that the "Great Singapore Sale" is really a good excuse to get you to the shops in the hope you will still pay full price for everything.
167. The staff from the mobile sales team on Orchard Road (especially those from Citibank or in front of HMV) recognise you and know you're not a tourist and you've become a potential customer for them !
168. You give up yelling at the cabby for stepping on and off the accelerator pedal.
169. You forget how to speak "GOOD ENGLISH"
170. You hate shopping, all the shop assistants show you in size is XL when in fact back home you are S or M.
171. You think Hawker Centres that are clean are "PARADISE"
172. You learn how to squat and not WET your SHOES
173. You know all the holes in Bintan and all the whores in Batam.
174. You leave your chinese collegues' wedding dinner immediately after you've finished dessert even though some people still haven't started dessert.
175. You find nothing strange with the Star Channel playing the same commercials 8 million times over and over until you nearly go insane..., and you don't change the channel because there is nothing else on.
176. You find yourself actually THINKING in singlish! Alamak!
177. You start to realise that despite trying a new pub/club/bar every weekend, you're never going to actually find one that's really what you're after.
178. You empty the whole platter of prawns onto your plate at the buffet lunch.
179. you think it's perfectly acceptable to drink beer out of a pint glass.
180. you think it's perfectly acceptable for men to drink alcopops.
181. You dont wear you England shirt to the game because you know that displaying flags other than singapore's in public is illegal.
182. You arrive at work early, and then go for an hour long breakfast.
183. You actually get bored of moaning and pointing out the differences between Singapore and your home country, as you've done it so many times you've lost count....
184. You think nothing is wrong when the staff at the Cold Storage put each article you bought in a seperate plastic bag.
185. You accept that 1 hour after you've taken up a Starhub mobile phone subscription someone from another company calls you trying to sell you something.
186. You think it's "normal" to need a passport to go to the next city.
187. You think it is perfectly acceptable for kids to run around on a moving MRT & whack an old lady in the face with an umbrella…in front of their parents.
188. You actually LIKE the Martell Cognac commercials.
189. You think Nash Bridges is a cool TV show.
190. You have forgotten what those concrete things between the road & grass are for & think it is better to walk on the street with cars passing within inches of you.
191. You think it is all right to stop your car & park in the middle of a lane, even better when it is only 1 lane each way & you are blocking traffic flow.
192. You can guiltlessly pick your nose, burp or pass gas in public.
193. You think the long fingernail on the little finger is not only the most useful hygiene implement, but it is also a fashion statement.
194. When you pass speed cameras, you slow down to 20 km BELOW the posted speed limit…just in case!
195. It is normal to stop at a red light 2 lanes over from a police car & both of you sit & watch as a 3rd car speeds through the red light nearly causing an accident.
196. You think it is ok to block off an entire "straight" lane of traffic, turning it into your own turning lane…just as long as YOU aren't inconvenienced.
197. You no longer think it is silly to decorate you car with stuffed animals & lace doilies or plaster bumper stickers all over it. In fact, you have been eyeing that teddy bear collection on your daughter's bedroom.
198. You no longer shake your head when you watch a movie that has had all the gratuitous violence edited out & the next morning see a bloody, dead body on the front page of the Straits Times.
199. You think Scream, Scream 2 & I Know What You Did Last Summer are all just really bad comedies.
200. You eat AROUND the cockroach in your curry just because it is from your favorite hawker stall.
201. You no longer say excuse me when you bump into someone.
202. When you see 2 men riding on a motorcycle together, you no longer refer to the passenger as "riding bi*ch".
203. Cell phones are now hand phones.
204. You are resigned to the fact that if you or a family member has a medical emergency, you will get to the hospital faster if you call a taxi than an ambulance.
205. You drive like a 4-year-old colors: outside the lines.
206. You no longer think outside the box.
207. You have reached OCBC Bank:

     Please dial 1 for English or 2 for Mandarin
     On dialling 1
     Please dial 1 for accounts or 2 for Credit Cards
     On dialling 2
     Please dial 1 for History or 2 for Credit Limit Raise
     On dialling 2 for Credit Limit Raises
     Please consult your nearest branch or press 2 for Mandarin

208. Your daily life revolves around this website.
209. You enjoy cold milk tea with bubbles. You know what bubbles and pearls are.
210. You have forgotten what coffee with real milk tastes like, or worse, condensed milk or powder whitener are preferred.
211. You think nothing of riding in a taxi along a freeway with no seatbelt on, whilst your child romps around the backseat unrestrained, when in your own country you freak out if the kids aren't buckled up to drive out of the driveway.
212. You feel obliged to contribute $50 to the wreath of the tea lady's 100 year old grandfather who died, because the contributions are documented on a piece of paper that circulates around the office, and you must 'save face'.
213. Paying $8.90 for a pint of strawberries is cheap!
214. Paying $10 for your favorite cereal is normal. Hitting a sale when it only costs $9.85 is your lucky day!
215. Any movie with Eric Roberts or Dolf Lundgren is considered a classic.
216. Music popular in the US when you were in high school is considered cutting edge here!
217. You grow your pinkie fingernail so long it could perforate your eardrum if you're not careful.
218. You know all the answers when you watch Singapore Wheel of Fortune. And you think it's great that Singapore finally has such a quality, home-grown TV show.
219. When a cabbie goes down the wrong way, you don't say, "Excuse me, I think you're mistaken." Instead, you say "Why you go that way, hah? You stoopid, what?"
220. You never tip anyone, even if they've gone out of their way for you.
221. You pay thousands of dollars on a handbag, but whinge if there isn't enough chicken in your $3 chicken rice.
222. Same, really - spend $200K on a new Merc, but park by the road till 9 am rather than pay $1.50 ERP.
223. You no longer wonder how drivers get to the kleenex housed in the decorative box covers way.....in the BACK of the car window.
224. You watch 'Who wants to be a millionaire ?'.... ...the MANDARIN version......
225. You know that when you locate your seats for a movie and they are aisle seats, that you will spend the first 15 mins of the movie moving your feet for late comers. The rest of the seats in your row are always empty when the movie starts.
226. You bring a blanket/ pullover to the movies because you know that you will freeze to death if you don't.You quite got around to wearing earplugs - though you know that you should.
227. You expect to suffer hearing loss if you are in the vicinity of any activity involving a PDA system/ sound system microphone/loudspeaker. (see movies above)
228. You can spot tourists a mile away and you recognise/remember/ relate to the look that they can get when they are desperately looking for the exit in Takishimaya. You know to escort them to the exit. Directions won't do it.
229. You no longer ask for directions, because you know that people will nod and point even though they have not understood what you have asked.
230. You know that if you must ask for directions to keep the key information required in the first 3-4 words. Second halves of sentences are not heard.
231. If there is more than one assistant in a shop, it pays to ask all of them the same question. The first may tell you that it is not stocked, the second or third will take you to where it is on the shelf - often in front of where the one who told you it is not stocked is standing.
232. You are not surprised that in the space of a day, because of a law change, taxi drivers have switched from looking mortally wounded, deeply offended and sometimes telling you off for buckling up,(a vote of no confidence in their driving and "bringing bad luck with bad thoughts") to barking at you, before you have even had a chance to sit down, to put on your seatbelt.
233. You know that if you are at a Food Court or Hawkers Stall and you have requested no sauce on your meal, you must hover vigilently so that you can stop them in time as they go to put the sauce on anyway.
234. Even as a shop assistant is nodding their head in response to what you have said, you are already formulating a simplified/Singlish version of what you have just said, because you know that the nodding means nothing and that it would be a miracle to be understood first time out. If you really want something until you see the light go on in their eyes. No light, noo outcome.
235. When talking about equipment you say "off it" or "on it", instead of "turn it off" or "turn it on".
236. When walking along the steet and a man puts the finger along his nose and snots on the path in front of you, rather than register disgust and nausea, you instead just make a mental note just to walk around it.
237. You know that if you need anything fixed in your appartment that it will mean a visit from at least 6 people and only one of them will actually be doing anything.
     • Two workers - one who does the work and the other who hands him things and watches.
     • A supervisor to oversee the two workers.
     • A representative from the management committee to oversee what it happening and keep the committee informed
     • An assistant to the representative from the management committee - just in case he needs something.

238. you know your passport number by heart
239. You understand everything on this list!!

From www.bevaart.com/cultureshock

Guess I'm not singaporean enuff... Cuz I don't understand all of it...

On a different note, was e-mailing Miss Wong... and now I don't know how to reply in perfect chinese anymore...

Guess I've been in Australia too long...