Goodbye Mr Lee Kuan Yew

I've stopped blogging for a while. But the events of today made me feel like writing how I really felt.

Founding father of Singapore, Mr Lee Kuan Yew passed away at 3:18am. It's been slightly more than 12 hours since he passed away and it still seems so surreal. Mr Lee has always been such a strong pillar, and even though he looks more and more frail each year at National day parades, no one expected that this day would come.

I'm not Singaporean, but Singapore has been the place I called home ever since I was in primary school. I lived in Singapore all my high school life, and I can sing the Singapore national anthem by heart, recite the pledge in both English and Mandarin by heart and also sing all the national day songs. My concept of merger and separation is how the Singaporeans tell it, and not the way the Malaysians do. Heck I even watch the Singaporean National day parade and feel a sense of pride like it is my own home! When I meet Singaporeans in Australia, I find it easier to connect to them than people of my own country.

Today, Mr Lee Kuan Yew has left us. Permanently. I've been following the news on how he's been doing in hospital daily, hoping that he would recover to witness SG50. 50 years of success stories as told by Singapore. I received news this morning from two friends that he passed away. The news came as shocking, as I had thought he would bounce back, like the tiger he has always been, never falling.

Now, there are a few heartfelt words I'd like to say.

李光耀先生，谢谢您。谢谢您给予我一个家。我在新加坡得到的一切 : 教育，朋友。当然也包括在新加坡得到的安全感。那是我在任何国家都感受不到的。谢谢您对新加坡的贡献，让我们和我们的子孙能够坐享其成。您努力了一辈子。现在您终于有机会休息了。想念？那是一定的。毕竟您就像是个永远不会倒下的柱子。但是我们也是时候放开您的手，让您休息了。安息吧，李光耀先生，建国英雄。

Thank you Mr Lee. What you've given me is a home. Thank you for giving me everything I got in Singapore : Education and friends. You also gave me security and peace, something which I'd never be able to experience in other countries. Thank you for hard work, giving us fruit for us and our future generations. You've worked hard your whole life and you've finally got a chance to rest. We will miss you, of course we will. You've always been a pillar of strength. However it's time for us to let go of you and let you rest. Rest in peace, Mr Lee Kuan Yew, our founding father.

And we got married!

My best friend, my confidante :) We'd been going out for 2 years and he popped the question on our 2nd year anniversary. "Will you marry me?"

Of course I said yes.

Now, 1 year and 9 months later, I still feel like the most blessed girl on earth. God has certainly shown me His love and grace even though I am not worthy.

Hi Daddy

Hi Daddy...

Long time now... :) I haven't spoken to you, nor heard from you...

Looked at my old blog posts... I guess I miss you... I miss you so darn much... it hurt :)

But it's ok :) I'm coming home... I'll meet you there... with arms wide open :)

I love you Daddy :)

Trying out Liese Hair dye

Trying out Liese Hair dye...

After being influenced by my piggy cousin, I decided to go and try the Liese Hair dye...

Basically it's a DIY hair dye, which foams and you just apply it like shampooing ur hair.

The verdict?

1) It gives a pretty colour!!! I chose Mocha Orange, it wasn't as light as I thought it'd be but good enough. I like it!

2) Though it is quite pretty, you have to be really careful, do rub it into the roots as well, as there is the risk that the colour will come out unevenly. That's what happened to mine.

3) Really really easy to use. And I mean idiotproof. Mix 2 solutions, wear gloves, rub in, wait 20 min and dang! U've got hair of different colour :)

What do I say about this colour?

I like it and WILL definitely use it again!!!

There you go! it's ur call on this one :)

God...

I don't understand why this is all happening

I don't understand why my mummy had to have cancer 12 years ago

I don't understand why she had to fight so hard and yet still die at the end

I don't understand how your plans work

But all I can do is trust.

God....

I feel hurt

I feel hurt that my prayers didn't work

I feel hurt that miracles didn't happen

I feel hurt that mummy didn't say the sinners prayer before she died

But all I can do is trust.

God...

Even though I feel hurt, lost and I can't understand, I know you have it all in control. I love you

Things that make me smile

There are 10 things that make me smile

1) GOD - If not for him, I'd still be lost. I'd be bitter. I'd be the un-confident me that I was 5 years ago. I wouldn't know how to smile, I wouldn't be strong like I am right now. Yes, I Yes, I have experienced pain, hardships, heartwrenching, heart breaking moments. BUT it is for him that I stand proudly and say that I'm daddy's girl.

2) MY FAMILY - We are a unique bunch of people. Couldn't have stood stronger than I am now if not for mummy's influence. Couldn't have been the happy, bubbly self I am now if not for da jie jie and jack. Couldn't have learnt to love if not for wei and er jie jie and keat and everyone at home. I am blessed. I have a home. I call it mine :)

3) JEREMY - What can I say? He just makes me smile. When I'm upset, he lends me his shoulder. When I cry, he's there to soothe me. When I go silly we both laugh together. He complements me :) He really does. Am blessed because of him. 6 months on... And I still feel like I'm the luckiest girl ever :)

4) BEST FRIENDS - They make me smile, listen to my woes, and cry with me... Tho some of them cry even before I do... BUT I truly am blessed, because you have blessed me :)

Lin, Xin, Seng, Tim... Thank you...

AND OF COURSE

5) BEAUTIFUL FLOWERS WHICH BRIGHTEN UP MY DAY

6) 2-YEAR-OLD BLOG POSTS WHICH SOUND REALLY GAY

7) CUSTOMERS AT WORK WHO MAKE ME SMILE

8) COLLEAGUES WHO ARE SWEET

9) MUSIC LESSONS

10) BABIES

:)

I love my life... It's beautiful...

All God given... GLory to HIM

Thank you... :)

This is probably the very last one U'd see... I know you prob won't see this, BUT I still have to say it... Thank you...

Regardless of all the hurts, all the pain that I've experienced due to our "unusual" friendship in the past, I am still blessed by you...

I was reading my previous blog posts, and I realised that how much I'm focussing now on the hurt that has been caused. I truly dislike you... (or rather disliked)... Forgetting on the good that you've brought, the joy that you have brought, and focussing on the hurts caused by a friendship gone wrong...

Thank you :)

God has not promised Skies always blue,

flower-strewn pathways all our lives through;
God has not promised sun without rain,
joy without sorrow, peace without pain.
But God has promised strength for the day,
rest for the labor, light for the way,
grace for the trials, help from above,
unfailing sympathy, undying love.

By Annie Johnson Flint

Yes... My skies aren't always blue, my road hasn't always been a bed of roses. I haven't been joyful without first feeling sorrow, neither have I felt peace before pain.

BUT yes, My GOD gives me the strength to go through the day. Strength to smile, to love, to rest, to believe again...

He has given me strength to love again, to trust again...

Loving my God :)

"Princess, look out of the window... Welcome to Genovia, your home"

This statement was made by the butler (Josef) in Princess Diaries...

Maybe... Just maybe... one day I will hear the same words...

"Princess, look out of the window... Welcome to Heaven, your home"

And my daddy in heaven will be smiling down at me :)

—-YOUR BOY SIDE—-
[X] You love jeans.
[X] Dogs are better than cats.
[] It's hilarious when people get hurt
[] Shopping is torture
[] Sad movies suck.
[] You own a car racing game.
[] You played with Hot Wheels cars as a kid.
[X] At some point in time you wanted to be a firefighter.
[X]You owned a PSP, DS, PS2, N64,or Sega,ps3
[X] You used to be obsessed with Power Rangers.
[X] You have watched sports on TV
[] Gory movies are cool.
[] You go to your dad for advice.
[] You own like a trillion baseball caps.
[] You used to collect hockey cards.
[] Baggy sweats are cool to wear.
[] It's kinda weird to have sleepovers with a bunch of people.
[X] Green, black, red, blue, or silver are one of your favorite colors.
[X] You love to go crazy and not care what people think.
[] Sports are fun
[X] You talk with food in your mouth.
[] You sleep with your socks on at night.
[X]You have fished at least once.

Total: 10/24

—-YOUR GIRL SIDE—-
[X] You love to shop.
[X] You wear eyeliner
[X] You wear the color pink.
[] You go to your mom to talk.
[X] You consider cheerleading a sport.
[] You hate wearing the color black.
[X] You like going to the mall.
[X] You like getting manicures and/or pedicures
[X] You like wearing jewelry.
[X] You cried watching The Notebook.
[X] Skirts are a big part of your wardrobe.
[X] Shopping is one of your favorite hobbies.
[X] You don't like the movie Star Wars
[] You are/were in gymnastics
[X] It takes you one hour or more to shower, get dressed, and make-up
[X] You smile a lot more than you should.
[X] You have more than 10 pairs of shoes.
[X] You care about what you look like.
[X] You like wearing dresses when you can.
[X] You like wearing high heel shoes.
[X] You used to play with dolls as little kid.
[X] You like putting make-up on others.
[X] You like being the star of everything.
[X] Pink is one of your favorite colors.

total: 21/24

Appearance •
[] I am taller than 6'4''
[] I am shorter than 5′5″.
[X] I have many scars.
[X] I tan/ burn easily.
[X] I wish my hair was a different color.
[X] I have friends who have never seen my natural hair color.
[] I have a tattoo.
[X] I am self-conscious about my appearance.
[] I've had/have braces.
[X] I've been told I'm attractive by a complete stranger.
[X] I have more than two piercings.
[X] I have / had piercings in places besides my ears.

total: 8/12

• Embarrassment •
[] I've slipped out a "lol" in a spoken conversation.
[X] Disney movies still make me cry.
[X] I've snorted while laughing.
[X] I've laughed so hard I've cried.
[X] I've glued my hand to something.
[] I've laughed 'til some kind of beverage came out of my nose.
[] I've had my pants rip in public.

total: 4/7

• Health •
[] I've gotten stitches.
[] Broken a bone.
[] I've had my tonsils removed.
[X] I've sat in a doctor's office with a friend.
[] I've had my wisdom teeth removed.
[] I've had serious surgery.
[X] I've had chicken pox.

total: 2/7

• Traveling •
[X] I've driven / riden over 200 miles in one day.
[X] I've been on a plane.
[] I've been to Canada.
[] I've been to Cuba.
[] I've been to Niagara Falls.
[] I've been to Ottawa.
[] I've gone to Sudbury.
[] I've been to the Caribbean.
[] I've been to Europe.
[] I've been to Florida.
[X] I've been to Asia
[] I've been to Hawaii
[] I've been to South America
total: 3/13

• Experiences •
[] I've gotten lost in my city.
[X] I've seen a shooting star.
[X] I've wished on a shooting star.
[] I've seen a meteor shower.
[X] I've gone out in public in my pajamas.
[] I've pushed all the buttons on an elevator.
[] I've kicked a guy where it hurts.
[X] I've been to a casino.
[] I've been skydiving.
[] I've gone skinny-dipping.
[] I've drank a whole gallon of milk in one hour.
[] I've crashed a car.
[] I've been skiing.
[X] I've been in a musical.
[] I've caught a snowflake or snow on my tongue.
[] I've seen the Northern Lights.
[] I've sat on a rooftop at night.
[X] I've played a prank on someone.
[X] I've ridden in a taxi.
[] I've seen the Rocky Horror Picture Show.
[X] I've eaten Sushi.
[] I've been snowboarding.

total: 8/22

• Relationships •
[] I'm single.
[X] I'm in a relationship.
[] I'm engaged.
[] I'm married.
[X] I miss someone right now.
[] I've gotten divorced.
[X] I've told someone I loved them when I didn't.
[X] I've told someone I didn't love them when I did.

total: 4/8•

Honesty / Crime •
[X] I've done something I promised someone else I wouldn't.
[] I've done something I promised myself I wouldn't.
[X] I've cheated while playing a game.
[] I've ran a red light.
[] I've witnessed a crime.
[] I've been in a fist fight.
[] I've been arrested.

total: 2/7

• Death and Suicide •
[X] I'm afraid of dying.
[X] I hate funerals.
[X] I've seen someone / something dying.
[] Someone close to me has attempted / committed suicide.
[X] I've planned my own suicide before.
[] I've written a will for myself.

total: 4/6

• Materialism •
[] I own over 5 rap CD's.
[] I have/have had an unhealthy obsession with anime / manga.
[] I own designer purses, costing over $100 a piece.
[] I own something from Pac Sun.
[] I collected comic books.
[] I own something from The Gap.
[X] I own something I got on E-Bay.
[] I own something from Abercrombie

total: 1/9

• Random •
[X] I can sing well .
[] Stolen a tray from a fast food restaurant.
[X] I open up to others easily
[] I watch the news.
[] I don't kill bugs
[X] I sing in the shower.
[] I am a morning person.
[] I paid for my cell phone ring tone.
[] I am a sports fanatic.
[X] I twirl my hair
[X] I care about grammar.
[] I have "?"'s in my screen name.
[] I love spam.
[] I've copied more than 30 CD's in a day.
[X] I bake well.
[X] My favorite color is either white, yellow, pink, red, blue, black, purple, or orange.
[X] I would wear pajamas to school.
[] I like Martha Stewart.
[] I know how to shoot a gun.
[] I am guilty of tYpInG lIkE tHiS.
[X] I laugh at my own jokes
[] I eat fast food weekly.
[] I've not turned anything in and still got an A in a certain class.
[] I can't sleep if there is a spider in the room.
[X] I am really ticklish!
[] I like white chocolate.
[X] I bite my nails.
[X] I'm good at remembering faces.
[X] I'm good at remembering names.
[] I'm good at remembering dates.
[X] I honestly have no idea what I want to do for the rest of my life.
[X] All my answers were totally honest

total: 15/32

Tomorrow we're gonna watch the Olympics together at Lynn's house...

Suddenly the excitement is getting to me...



可能是因为听了MV过后吧。。。 突然觉得自己身为华人，真的真的非常非常幸运。。。 有共同的语言，共同的肤色。。。 身上流着共同的血。。。

不知大家会不会跟我有共同的想法？ 庆幸自己是华人， 不是别种肤色的人。。。 庆幸自己会说华语。。。 可能因为如此， 自己非常鄙视会说中文， 但又坚持不说， 还坚持"chinese is a stupid language" 的人。。。 星期六遇上了一个那么样的人， 把我气得。。。 差那么一点就在他脸上刻下一个疤了。。。

argh... how I dislike these kind of ppl...

小公主为买车而烦了。。。

Insurance... bargains... argh...

似乎觉得自己长大了。。。 不再需要依靠任何人。。。 我想，当你开始为生活琐碎的东西烦的时候，你已经长大了。。。

Look at this vid by d way...

Very touching...

Yes... This song spoke volumes to me... Deeply to me... Brought up every hurt I have been through, which I thought I had forgotten...

Esp when Ps Joyce was sharing how she chose to worship during times of distress... I can't count the number of times I chose to worship while I was hurt... Times God just hugged me, and it felt like an immeasurable amount of love surrounded me... Times I cried so so much I thought I was gonna be dehydrated, and yet God made himself so close to me... Times He just loved me irregardless of the sinner me, the cowardly me, the me who breaks his heart because His heart just breaks for me...

I am just so blessed...

I know that God will heal my family too~! :) amen

LOL...

Feel like leaving Perth for a long long holiday right now... Going to a place where no one knows me or recognises me... (Can only blame myself for "knowing half of Perth"- according to mummy)... Even budget airlines would be good~!!!!! It'd be a nice change to go somewhere to refresh, relax, and come back knowing that everything else will wait for me...

Too bad time waits for no man... and it'll never go back to where it used to be...

Slipping through my fingers

Schoolbag in hand, she leaves home in the early morning
Waving goodbye with an absent-minded smile
I watch her go with a surge of that well-known sadness
And I have to sit down for a while
The feeling that I'm losing her forever
And without really entering her world
I'm glad whenever I can share her laughter
That funny little girl

Slipping through my fingers all the time
I try to capture every minute
The feeling in it
Slipping through my fingers all the time
Do I really see what's in her mind
Each time I think I'm close to knowing
She keeps on growing
Slipping through my fingers all the time

Sleep in our eyes, her and me at the breakfast table
Barely awake, I let precious time go by
Then when she's gone there's that odd melancholy feeling
And a sense of guilt I can't deny
What happened to the wonderful adventures
The places I had planned for us to go
(Slipping through my fingers all the time)
Well, some of that we did but most we didn't
And why I just don't know

Slipping through my fingers all the time
I try to capture every minute
The feeling in it
Slipping through my fingers all the time
Do I really see what's in her mind
Each time I think I'm close to knowing
She keeps on growing
Slipping through my fingers all the time

Sometimes I wish that I could freeze the picture
And save it from the funny tricks of time
Slipping through my fingers

Slipping through my fingers all the time

Schoolbag in hand she leaves home in the early morning
Waving goodbye with an absent-minded smile

Ever felt like you missed your mum so much??? Was watching Mamma Mia!, and this part really touched me... couldn't help crying... I guess time just passes so fast... And before you know it... You're 22... and all that you can do to remember the memories is look at photographs...

I wonder if my mum felt the same... when I left for Australia... That I was slipping through her fingers... (No wonder they refused to give me a key for my 21st birthday...)

Sigh... I guess there are times where a girl feels alone... and all... and I guess this is a time where I want my mummy :'( U know how mums have that special ability to kiss you when you fall down and make it better??? And they just smell so good of roses and talcum powder... and their cuddles just make everything better??? Mums just look at you with those eyes that say "I understand" (maybe mine will only laugh) but... yeah... I wish my mummy was here... BUT... she'll only laugh at my plight :P

陪我看日出 - 蔡淳佳 
    曲︰BEGLIN
    詞︰梁文福

    雨的氣息是回家的小路
    路上有我追著你的腳步
    腳下邊保存著昨天的溫度
    你抱著我就像溫暖的大樹

  ＊雨下了走好路　這句話我記住
    風再大吹不走囑咐
    雨過了就有路　像那年看日出
    你牽著我穿過了霧
    叫我看希望就在黑夜的盡處

    哭過的眼看歲月更清楚
    想一個人閃著淚光是一種幸福
    又回到我離開家的小步
    你送著我滿天燕子都在飛舞

    重唱　＊,＊

    雖然一個人　我並不孤獨
    在心中你陪我看每一個日出


What a beautiful song...

虽然一个人， 我并不孤独， 在心中祢陪我看每一个日出。。。

But I'm not gonna let you down... Darling wait and see... But between now and then, till I see you again, I'll be loving you, love, me...

So nice... :) And mine and mine alone :)

Good night~!!!! The princess has gone berserk... I realised I sound drunk when I am totally tired to the max...

"Stay Beautiful"

Sunday morning at the door
You were coming back for more
We were kicking it all around
I was looking in your eyes
You thought it was justified
You said, m m m m more

[Chorus]
Don't stop, Don't change, Stay beautiful
One life, Today, You're irresistible
Get up, Get out, Stay wonderful
All this time is waiting for you
Don't stop, Don't change, Stay beautiful

Poison kisses in the rain you were calling out my name
Laughing like the joke was on me

Singin.....
Ba da da ba da da
Ba da da ba da da
Ba ba ba ba da

[Chorus]

Post cards, throwing darts, side kicks and super marts
Break dance, second chance, I will run to you
Sideways, back and forth, wake up, hit the floor
Oh no, where'd you go, I will come to you
One more, day like this
One more, poison kiss
One more, hand to fist
I will run to you
Always, first in line
Always, on my mind
Always, doing fine
I will come to you

Ba da da ba da da
Ba da da ba da da
Ba ba ba ba da

Don't stop, Don't change, Stay beautiful
One life, Today, Your irresistible
Get up, Get out, Stay wonderful
All this time is waiting for you

Don't stop, don't change, stay beautiful
One life, today, your irresistible
Get up, get out, stay wonderful
All this time is waiting for you
Don't stop, don't change, stay beautiful

Don't stop, Don't change, Stay beautiful
One life, Today, Is undeniable
Get up, Get out, Stay wonderful
All this time is waiting for you
All this time is waiting for you

I like this song... First time I heard this song... I'm in love with it already... :)

1 month...

It's amazing how 1 month can change your life so much...

:)

1 month can bring you to the top of the world, and yet bring you to the depths of the valleys... 1 month can make you so much stronger, and can break you...

1 month can make you cry... 1 month can make you laugh...

1 month can make you feel so blessed... and yet make you feel so down...

1 month... can really change your life so... :) Yet make you so certain... that what you have decided on is something so awesome... that you will never give anything to trade it away...

Thank God for 1 month(s) :)

U know what???

I need a holiday...

Go far far away...