Goodbye Mr Lee Kuan Yew

I've stopped blogging for a while. But the events of today made me feel like writing how I really felt.

Founding father of Singapore, Mr Lee Kuan Yew passed away at 3:18am. It's been slightly more than 12 hours since he passed away and it still seems so surreal. Mr Lee has always been such a strong pillar, and even though he looks more and more frail each year at National day parades, no one expected that this day would come.

I'm not Singaporean, but Singapore has been the place I called home ever since I was in primary school. I lived in Singapore all my high school life, and I can sing the Singapore national anthem by heart, recite the pledge in both English and Mandarin by heart and also sing all the national day songs. My concept of merger and separation is how the Singaporeans tell it, and not the way the Malaysians do. Heck I even watch the Singaporean National day parade and feel a sense of pride like it is my own home! When I meet Singaporeans in Australia, I find it easier to connect to them than people of my own country.

Today, Mr Lee Kuan Yew has left us. Permanently. I've been following the news on how he's been doing in hospital daily, hoping that he would recover to witness SG50. 50 years of success stories as told by Singapore. I received news this morning from two friends that he passed away. The news came as shocking, as I had thought he would bounce back, like the tiger he has always been, never falling.

Now, there are a few heartfelt words I'd like to say.

李光耀先生，谢谢您。谢谢您给予我一个家。我在新加坡得到的一切 : 教育，朋友。当然也包括在新加坡得到的安全感。那是我在任何国家都感受不到的。谢谢您对新加坡的贡献，让我们和我们的子孙能够坐享其成。您努力了一辈子。现在您终于有机会休息了。想念？那是一定的。毕竟您就像是个永远不会倒下的柱子。但是我们也是时候放开您的手，让您休息了。安息吧，李光耀先生，建国英雄。

Thank you Mr Lee. What you've given me is a home. Thank you for giving me everything I got in Singapore : Education and friends. You also gave me security and peace, something which I'd never be able to experience in other countries. Thank you for hard work, giving us fruit for us and our future generations. You've worked hard your whole life and you've finally got a chance to rest. We will miss you, of course we will. You've always been a pillar of strength. However it's time for us to let go of you and let you rest. Rest in peace, Mr Lee Kuan Yew, our founding father.

And we got married!

My best friend, my confidante :) We'd been going out for 2 years and he popped the question on our 2nd year anniversary. "Will you marry me?"

Of course I said yes.

Now, 1 year and 9 months later, I still feel like the most blessed girl on earth. God has certainly shown me His love and grace even though I am not worthy.

Hi Daddy

Hi Daddy...

Long time now... :) I haven't spoken to you, nor heard from you...

Looked at my old blog posts... I guess I miss you... I miss you so darn much... it hurt :)

But it's ok :) I'm coming home... I'll meet you there... with arms wide open :)

I love you Daddy :)

Trying out Liese Hair dye

Trying out Liese Hair dye...

After being influenced by my piggy cousin, I decided to go and try the Liese Hair dye...

Basically it's a DIY hair dye, which foams and you just apply it like shampooing ur hair.

The verdict?

1) It gives a pretty colour!!! I chose Mocha Orange, it wasn't as light as I thought it'd be but good enough. I like it!

2) Though it is quite pretty, you have to be really careful, do rub it into the roots as well, as there is the risk that the colour will come out unevenly. That's what happened to mine.

3) Really really easy to use. And I mean idiotproof. Mix 2 solutions, wear gloves, rub in, wait 20 min and dang! U've got hair of different colour :)

What do I say about this colour?

I like it and WILL definitely use it again!!!

There you go! it's ur call on this one :)

God...

I don't understand why this is all happening

I don't understand why my mummy had to have cancer 12 years ago

I don't understand why she had to fight so hard and yet still die at the end

I don't understand how your plans work

But all I can do is trust.

God....

I feel hurt

I feel hurt that my prayers didn't work

I feel hurt that miracles didn't happen

I feel hurt that mummy didn't say the sinners prayer before she died

But all I can do is trust.

God...

Even though I feel hurt, lost and I can't understand, I know you have it all in control. I love you

Things that make me smile

There are 10 things that make me smile

1) GOD - If not for him, I'd still be lost. I'd be bitter. I'd be the un-confident me that I was 5 years ago. I wouldn't know how to smile, I wouldn't be strong like I am right now. Yes, I Yes, I have experienced pain, hardships, heartwrenching, heart breaking moments. BUT it is for him that I stand proudly and say that I'm daddy's girl.

2) MY FAMILY - We are a unique bunch of people. Couldn't have stood stronger than I am now if not for mummy's influence. Couldn't have been the happy, bubbly self I am now if not for da jie jie and jack. Couldn't have learnt to love if not for wei and er jie jie and keat and everyone at home. I am blessed. I have a home. I call it mine :)

3) JEREMY - What can I say? He just makes me smile. When I'm upset, he lends me his shoulder. When I cry, he's there to soothe me. When I go silly we both laugh together. He complements me :) He really does. Am blessed because of him. 6 months on... And I still feel like I'm the luckiest girl ever :)

4) BEST FRIENDS - They make me smile, listen to my woes, and cry with me... Tho some of them cry even before I do... BUT I truly am blessed, because you have blessed me :)

Lin, Xin, Seng, Tim... Thank you...

AND OF COURSE

5) BEAUTIFUL FLOWERS WHICH BRIGHTEN UP MY DAY

6) 2-YEAR-OLD BLOG POSTS WHICH SOUND REALLY GAY

7) CUSTOMERS AT WORK WHO MAKE ME SMILE

8) COLLEAGUES WHO ARE SWEET

9) MUSIC LESSONS

10) BABIES

:)

I love my life... It's beautiful...

All God given... GLory to HIM

Thank you... :)

This is probably the very last one U'd see... I know you prob won't see this, BUT I still have to say it... Thank you...

Regardless of all the hurts, all the pain that I've experienced due to our "unusual" friendship in the past, I am still blessed by you...

I was reading my previous blog posts, and I realised that how much I'm focussing now on the hurt that has been caused. I truly dislike you... (or rather disliked)... Forgetting on the good that you've brought, the joy that you have brought, and focussing on the hurts caused by a friendship gone wrong...

Thank you :)

God has not promised Skies always blue,

flower-strewn pathways all our lives through;
God has not promised sun without rain,
joy without sorrow, peace without pain.
But God has promised strength for the day,
rest for the labor, light for the way,
grace for the trials, help from above,
unfailing sympathy, undying love.

By Annie Johnson Flint

Yes... My skies aren't always blue, my road hasn't always been a bed of roses. I haven't been joyful without first feeling sorrow, neither have I felt peace before pain.

BUT yes, My GOD gives me the strength to go through the day. Strength to smile, to love, to rest, to believe again...

He has given me strength to love again, to trust again...

Loving my God :)

"Princess, look out of the window... Welcome to Genovia, your home"

This statement was made by the butler (Josef) in Princess Diaries...

Maybe... Just maybe... one day I will hear the same words...

"Princess, look out of the window... Welcome to Heaven, your home"

And my daddy in heaven will be smiling down at me :)